in which I celebrate iconoclasm, and navel-gaze. yes, some more.

Hello darlings!

Yes, I’m alive, and survived the end of term.  The independent study is in (choice scintillating sentence: “These corrosion species include the FeO(OH) group, of which β-FeO(OH), or akaganéite, is one of the most prevalent, due to its inclusion of chloride ions in its lattice structure.”), the objects are done, and summer stretches out.  I’ve got a few loose ends to tie up, but mostly I now spend my days watching Supernatural and knitting, or various other crafty things.  I have to run out later and get things for the garden, as it’s all sprout-y and I’m all ‘fuck, I have no planters’-y.  It is bliss like I cannot tell you.

Of course, I spent a stupid amount of time stressing over this whole…writer-y…thing.  And how I fear that I’m not doing it right, that I’m going to disappoint someone horribly without realising it.  I have been pushing myself for so long and so hard, darlings, in so many ways.  I’m 28, and I’ve lived at least three lifetimes, it feels.  I thrive off of it, but you know, I think I’m starting to break a little bit.  Actually, I’m quite sure of it.  Which, lets be honest, does no one any good.

So I shall do what I do best, which is be different and/or a bit of a git, depending on your definition.  I do not want this to become a chore; I write because it’s fun!  I want this to not just be about writing, either, and doing the chats you’re supposed to do (wherein no one save other authors participates, and what a fecking great joy that is), and selling yourself the way you’re supposed to.  You know what?  I don’t want that.  Or at least not just that.  And I’m willing to accept the lower sales, or whatever will come, because darlings, I’m so tired.  I’m so tired, and when I decided I was going to do all of this my way, I stopped feeling so tired.  Anarchic and curious and mad is my way, and it always should have been so.

So, basically — I hope everything in this journal will be great fun for all of us.  I have some awesome ideas for giveaways and promotions on my terms, and they’ll be great fun to put in motion.  And if that doesn’t work out, then I shall make you look at pictures of my knitting and post free fic (some of that coming later this week, I think), and it will probably be a little bit scary, and I may disappoint people anyway, but I think it will be grand, too.

This is in no way related to realising that the world is about to change faster than ever, and feeling very zeitgeisty 🙂  I’m very excited about trying new things, and experimenting.  And, of course — finally having time and energy to write more.

Love,

Me

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